Catito

Right now, as I write this, Catito is curled up into the shape of a comma underneath the table next to me. I call him Tito for short, though his full name has always made everyone smile. He looks as peaceful and content as he ever was, on top a warm flannel of mine. He does look like a much smaller, comma-shaped ball compared to other comma-shaped balls he has curled up into in the past. He is skinny, when I run my hand down his spine I can count every bump as well as his tailbone and his shoulders. He is quiet, he is tired. Tito is still here but he won’t be for long so I wanted to write this story about him to usher him into the next adventure with the honor and love he deserves. Yes, he is a cat, but when I see Tito I see his spirit inside of a cats body that is interesting and so fun to love.

Maybe, this sounds silly. Maybe you’re thinking, “This is just a cat, Moliday.” But i have to disagree and say that he really is not, and has not been just any normal cat. Everyone who owns a pet and connects to them on a deep level would argue that there is something special about THEIR pet. And while i do believe that is true- that its the connection between human and animal that makes things so special- i do stand by my original statement that Tito really isn’t like any other cat. I feel the way about Tito how Charlotte felt for Wilbur. I could spin a thousand webs praising him for how quirky he is, how sweet and charismatic he always has been. It doesn’t matter if you downright dislike cats, or if you are allergic to their fur. If you’ve met Tito- you absolutely love him. He is not the kind of cat to sly away in the corners of a room when someone new comes near. He will be center of the room, center of attention…always. (Even if center of the room is on top of a table or on top of whatever you're trying to work on-that’s his spot…the center of attention) Loud noises don't repel him, but challenge him. I love vacuuming because he will sprawl out in front of me and try to play with the vacuum. Walls won’t contain him because he loves exploring. Outside, preferably, but if he can’t go outside he will make a jungle out of wherever he is. Staircases, couches, windows…everything has possibility and he wants to see it through! His attitude has always been loud and hilarious. The looks he gives, the games he will play….I’ve literally spent hours and hours just walking around with him because he truly makes me laugh and enjoy my day 100% more.

Tito really is a miracle cat. I can’t count the number of times I thought he was sprawling at deaths door (probably trying to trip him). When I first adopted Tito he had actually been adopted off the streets of Boston. My friend, Nicole, gave him to me and i still to this day imagine my little baby Tito in some alleyway of the city playing with his mom and siblings if he had any. He was still young when we met- and so was I. I was 18 and just graduated high school. He was spunky from the start and loved living at my parents house because he has a huge yard to explore and freedom all day to go in and out as he pleased. I actually left him at that house when i moved to California because he loved it so much and loved his friends there- Lovecraft and Zoe. One winter I was visiting home from California and staying with my parents. My father told me one day Tito didn’t come home the night before. Days passed and I panicked and mourned the whole week- thinking as each day passed the likelihood of him coming home shrank. This was the first time I thought I lost him. After 5 or 6 days I assumed the worst and said goodbye in my heart. That day I opened the door of a car that had been parked in the driveway and out jumped Tito- running towards the house. I was shocked and confused by how he must have been shut in the unmoving car for a week but more so by how he survived with no food and water for so long. But alas, he was just as chipper and energized as I ever had seen him. A week later was the second time I thought I had lost him. On Christmas Eve he was attacked by a dog and rushed to the emergency vet. I still remember sitting on the floor of the animal hospital with him as he tried to walk around and figure out what was going on through the concussion he was suffering. Along with the concussion he suffered dental damage, his equilibrium was damaged, as well as his sinuses. We nursed him back to health slowly-which took a lot of patience from Tito- I was perfectly fine taking a whole month to make sure he was 100% again, however after a day or two quarantined in a room to heal he was begging to be free running around again. He made a speedy recovery of course. Months later, unfortunately, the same dog got him again (in a less severe way) but after another traumatic time of pulling my cat away from an angry dog I decided it was time for us to find a place together. That was the start of our adult life together. We made it through disapproving landlords, new roommates, new houses. He was there to help me handle grief, tragedy, loss. I have dieted him, i have groomed him. Wiped his nose for years because its been runny for quite some time. I’ve tried homeopathic and clinical. supplements and medicines. Energy healing and IVs for fluid. He met so many friends. Animals and humans alike. He has met men I’ve loved, he’s met friends I have lost. Many vets, many health scares, many “Let’s try this…”s. Many years, many seasons.

I could sit here for hours and write down stories that not only are precious and personal to me, but that would make you (no matter who you are) laugh and maybe even cry. I’m telling you- he really isn’t any old cat. He is really, really special. I think sometimes I will write a comic or make short stories about Tito. I fucking love this cat. Not like, “Yeah that's my cat who lives in my house” Tito has always been a friend and a unit in my life. He has followed me from room to room at my heels for years. I’ve spent so much time just interacting with him and enjoying our time together that I have enough content in my memories to fill up an entire book about this cat. So yeah, maybe ill do that. I’m writing this to help myself cope with the reality that is upon us right now, but also keep his spirit alive by remembering all the good memories and happy times. Yes, I'm crying now- I started writing this crying, and will definitely have many moments ahead where I cry over the loss of Tito. But I want to be able to talk about him and remember him without grief and sadness overshadowing the irreplaceable laughter and joy I've been able to find through this one, small, pesky cat. I still don’t want to accept that these are our last hours together but I also believe we all return to each other one way or another. I know ill meet Tito again, maybe in another cat in the future, maybe in a calm moment on a summer day in the grass. (where he loved to be, hunting bugs and finding escape routes from Allyson and I) I’m very thankful for my strong friend who has really trooped it out till the end. I look back at all the times that I let him eat off my plate, or walk on the table, or wake me up at 6am to feed him(on my days off)….and I don’t regret a single thing. I knew he was sick for a long time and if I could change anything now it would only be to give him more and spend more time with him. I know I will miss him forever. But I am much more happy that I, Moliday, was able to be his person, than i am sad that it couldn’t have lasted longer.